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Judy Spooner: For some, it's about love, but I like the chocolate part

Last week, I called niece Karen in Chapel Hill, N.C., to find out how husband Steve, grandniece Emily and grandnephew Ryan are doing.

You might recall that a fire destroyed most of their home last July while they were vacationing with us in Minnesota. While some things such as pictures of the kids and other mementoes were saved, they had to start over.

They decided to do it with a good attitude and hope for the future. This week, they are moving into their re-built house.

"I'm going home for the first time in eight months," Karen wrote in an e-mail.

Emily, a fourth-grader at Ephesus Elementary School, answered the phone. I asked her about her new bedroom. "It has a window seat," she said. "When I was your age, I wanted a window seat in my room," I said.

I asked if my Valentine's Day gifts had arrived. Emily said Ryan liked the card I sent with all the penguins on it. I heard some munching sounds. "I love the chocolates," she said.

I thought she would.

After coming home from trick or treating, she eats her candy two-handed. Anything chocolate goes in first.

I wholeheartedly agree. (That's a Valentine's Day joke.)

For me, Valentine's Day is not about romance; it's an excuse to eat chocolate.

In addition to being yummy, chocolate also seems to enhance one's sense of humor. Check out some of the things people are saying about chocolate on the Internet.

If chocolate is melting in your hands, you're not eating it fast enough.

If you are on a weight-loss diet, eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will kill your appetite and you won't eat as much.

A balanced diet is eating equal amounts of white and dark chocolate. Do they counteract each other? If so, the result is that you haven't actually eaten any chocolate at all.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control-top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen so do your duty and eat more chocolate.

Chocolate is a vegetable by definition. It comes from beans, which are vegetables. Sugar comes from cane or beets. Both are plants and are vegetables.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit. Eat as much as you want.

Eating a box of chocolates provides your daily calorie intake in one place. Isn't that handy?

Why are there no chocoholic groups? Answer: No one wants to quit.

Put eating chocolate at the top of things to do today. At least you'll get one thing done.

The definition of a "glutton" is anyone who won't share his or her chocolate with you.

An ounce of chocolate truffles is worth a pound of anything else.

You never really know a person until you've shared a box of chocolates.

Judy's Law: Calories are afraid of heights. If you express your intention to store your homemade fudge on the top shelf in a cupboard, calories leap onto the kitchen counter and hide in the lettuce in your fridge.

Judy Spooner
Judy Spooner is the longest-serving staff writer at the South Washington County Bulletin. Spooner, who covers education and features in addition to writing a weekly column, has been with the newspaper for over 30 years.
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