Judy Spooner: I have enough stuff to stock an emergency room
When I was done cleaning the two drawers in the downstairs bathroom, I had a large plastic bag of stuff to throw away.
When I put all the other stuff back into the drawers, there was no extra room. "How can that be?" I said to myself.
Drawer cleaning is not something people put on a "to-do" list. One day, you get fed up with not being able to find what you are looking for and clean it out.
In an effort to consolidate a collection of mismatched bandages that had drifted to the bottom of the drawers, I put them all in a plastic bag and zipped it shut.
The drawer was neater, but I had to dump the entire contents of the bandage bag to find the one I was looking for. After returning the bag to the drawer, I just bought more bandages so I could find one easier.
If you are injured at our home, I've got your back. I have enough stuff to stock an emergency room.
Judy's Law: The bandage you need isn't where you think it is. You have to buy new.
"The same thing happens with condiments in the fridge," said daughter Margie watching me put things in a trash bag from the drawers. "By the way, why did you get a sunscreen with a rating of six?" she asked. "It would only work in December."
I ignored the remark and asked how condiments relate to cleaning drawers.
"No matter how many bottles of expired French dressing you throw away, there's not enough room left in the fridge door for a quart of milk," she said.
The same thing happens when you clean closets, according to Margie.
You end up with a large trash bag of stuff to go to the Stone Soup Thrift Store, but the closet is still full of clothes.
According to Margie, closet organization is easier than condiment control. "Don't buy more hangers," she said.
Soap, on the other hand, is right up there with having too many bandages, she said.
"Soap?" I asked.
"I have baskets of homemade soap," she said. "I have cinnamon, grapefruit, apple, pomegranate and bars that have spices floating inside them."
Her theory is that her friends go to a lot of farmer's markets. They buy homemade soap and save the bars for gifts.
"Kind of makes you wonder if anyone actually uses homemade soap," I said.
"I just buy regular soap," she said. "The only way I'm using a bar of the homemade stuff is if there's a $20 bill inside."
There are lessons to be learned here, but I'm not seeing them. In the meantime, make a note that drawers, closets and refrigerator doors don't look neater after you clean them and don't buy your friends homemade soap.